When the “Terrible Two” comes to your home...

For us, the Terrible Two is something. Very present since my son was 20 months old, the world of emotions has been integrated and continues to surprise us every day. He is almost 3 years old at the time of writing.

With a lot of innocence, I said to myself: “Well, it won’t be that bad! ". Yeah, right. I approach “F*cking Four” with a bit of bitterness.

I have a little boy who is very emotional, impulsive, impatient (oh Lord...) and who desperately needs the patience of his parents to accompany him in this flood of emotion. Patience, I work on it every day. I guarantee it.

We sometimes manage days with smiles and a few crises, nothing more. While other days are pure chaos and start at 6:30 in the morning with a nice slice of bacon in the living room because he wants to listen to “the yellow truck” on television. Not the red truck there... No, no. The yellow truck. This is the only information I managed to gather. “Get out of your way, Mom, and find the yellow truck, through the multitude of channels available! »

Very recently, after being ill, he integrated taking Tylenol into his bedtime routine. Magically, he starts having pain in a weird and different place every day. At first, I had in mind that he was really in pain somewhere. Then finally, I quickly understood that Tylenol soothes and comforts him, a bit like a comforter or a pacifier. Today, I am still trying as best I can to find a solution to stop this habit. I tried a lot of things. Invent a new flavor (by adding a little juice to his Tylenol cup), offer him an alternative, explain it to him calmly, hold my own, etc. My little boy is impulsive and emotional. What a surprise to see him start having night terrors... to get his Tylenol. HELP! But in short, it's a work in progress. I try to be constant in my interventions and my support.

With all that, I wanted to share with you some tips that I discovered (and tested) to calm my little love bomb. Some may work very well for you, while others not at all. I'll let you discover them.

1. Hugs

When my Loulou starts to panic. I quickly stand at his level and ask him to give me a hug. Often, it calms him down quite instantly and I'm able to talk to him and explain to him the why and the how. He won't give me one? I wait and continue speaking to him gently. Gradually, he almost always comes to me.

2. Put yourself in his place

I often hear myself say to him: "I understand that...", "I know you like it, but...", "You are angry and you have the right..." Put a word on the emotion that he experiences, it helps a lot. But above all, letting him understand that you understand what he is trying to tell you (even if this is not always 100% the case), it helps him feel understood and supported in his emotion.

3. Walk away and come back

I know sometimes it's difficult. I'm human, I've lost my patience. I spoke a little louder. I was drier. We all are, and that's normal. But I also understood that sometimes he needs to experience his emotion. When this happens, I take two steps back, do something else, let him cry (making sure he doesn't hurt himself anyway) and come back to him to try a new approach. Sometimes I let him cry and continue talking to him, but in another room. So he knows I'm there. And if I feel like I'm losing my patience, I ask for help. That too is human.

4. Suggest something else

The famous crisis of “I want the red glass and not the blue”. When this kind of situation happens, I try to offer him an alternative or compromise with him. For example: “I know you want the red glass, but it’s dishwasher safe. Today, we could take the blue. And tomorrow, you'll have the red one - all clean and I'll be able to put lots of juice in it." Usually it works. He also started not wanting to wear the clothes I chose. Why not give him two choices of pants or sweaters?

6. The 5 minute rule

The famous 5 minute rule. For us, it’s miraculous. I allow my little routine to anticipate what will happen in the next 5 minutes. For example: “In 5 minutes, we turn off the television and we go get dressed for daycare”, “We read this story and then we go brush our teeth. ". I tell you, it solved a few crises here.

5. Involvement

And finally, in the morning, I always had the right to a systematic “No” when I told him that we were going to daycare. After integrating the 5 minute rule, I took the initiative to show him an action so that he felt involved. Let me explain, I showed him how to turn off the television. He's always the one to turn off the TV and put the controller on the cabinet - and he's really proud.

I'm not saying that these are the things to absolutely do, but these are the things that helped me and allowed me to breathe a little. If it can help you too, great!

And you, do you have any tips that worked with your two-year-old?